Turbo vs. Jess: A case of empathy gone too far?

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

Mother Teresa

I'm notorious for taking things too far, for giving a little more than is necessary, maybe even too much at times.  I've been known to take things to the extreme--whether it be a cleanse, a new workout, a super short haircut, or spring-cleaning...I tend to go all in when I do something.  I've also mentioned in previous Turbo posts, that I cannot imagine how it would feel to have so much discomfort with so little relief.  That it kills me to see him so uncomfortable day after day without the ability to take any of it away...and this is the story of ME taking one more thing (my empathy) too far.

Yes folks, I'm going there.  I'm actually going to compare my case of shingles (which I suffered from for a little more than a week) to Turbo's total, systemic Demodex that he's had for over half his little life.  My case was so mild that my mom diagnosed me over text.. (I actually thought Turbo had given me ringworm or mange).  I did see a doc that confirmed that is was...in fact...shingles.  How did I get shingles?  Stress.  Am I doing too much? Nah.  Taking too much on? Probably not.  Over empathizing with my little foster dog? Um, maybe? Whatever MY cause, I was NOT neglected and it was NOT allowed to spread all over my body.  

Shingles--Text picture to mom

How does it compare?  Demodex vs. Shingles?  I can't really know, can I?  Is it even fair  or valid to compare?  I have no idea what it feels like to have a complete system infection, followed by secondary yeast infections all over my skin.  I have not lost all of my hair.  I'm not limited to super short bursts of time out in the sun because I burn so easily.  I am not constantly itching and bleeding from scratching, without any relief from my meds.  I'm not seriously, socially delayed because I spent the learning months of early childhood neglected and unfed.   But yes, I was uncomfortable.

So, to be fair and honest, it's not even a close comparison.  For one, my case was relatively mild and Turbo's is one of the worst cases I've ever seen.  And two, he has handled his situation very gracefully. And I?  Well, I handled it less than gracefully. 

Let's review:

Giant horse pills,  human mouth

I had shingles in and all around the outside of my right ear, along my back and neck (as pictured above), and along one dermatome on my stomach.  The only excruciating set were the ones in my ear.  I couldn't sleep on my right side, answer the phone, wash my hair, put a shirt over my head, or wear my super cute earrings without nauseating, burning, tingling, shooting pain.  And, they made me dizzy and fall down.  Which caused other areas of pain.  I didn't want to be touched or get out bed (which I did), I was grumpy about going to work (which I endured), I had no energy to play or be active (but I found a way to do so for short bursts of time), and I complained about the meds. I've been dosing myself with Benadryl to get rid of the itch from the pain medicine, taking the pain medicine for the nerve pain (which isn't really helping too much...but I'm in a pretty good mood for a few hours at time), taking anti-nausea meds for the anti-pain meds, and lastly, anti-virals for the virus...and I have to wonder...is it really helping?  If it is, I'd hate see how I awful I would’ve felt if I didn't do anything and just let the whole thing run its course.  The thing is though, I complained WITHOUT the meds too.  There was no making me happy...and well, overall...I have not been a good sport or example.  My optimism was half empty.

As for Turbo, well...he didn't complain when he was at his worst, he wagged his tail at the mention of his name.  He endured (and continues to endure) the daily scrub downs in the shower or tub without a struggle or fight...he even feels up to playing tuggy with the towel at the end of every bath, he still wants to chase a ball or Frisbee...and has enough energy to outrun (or out wrestle) his sisters for the ball, he has always had plenty of energy to eat and drink all 3 meals of the day every day, he lives to play wrestle and tug with his sisters (and he would play all day and night if he could),  he has enough strength to fight the leash (and the gentle leader) on his walk, he can't wait for his nightly routine of lap time and pets, and he has taken his daily meds with a wagging tail every single day for the past 56 days.  He is the best sport.  He has been a great example that where joy is full, pain is minimized. 

I laugh at the comparison...but I also, again, am thankful for little Turbo.  For all his little nuances and our daily struggles.  This little pitty's love is full...and so is mine.